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As if the dating game wasn’t confusing enough when we were young and carefree, dating as a parent presents it’s own set of unique challenges. I mean, we barely get time to go to the toilet with the door closed let alone maintain a meaningful adult relationship! But at the end of the day we’d all like someone to hand deliver chocolates and say nice things to us on occasion (as opposed to insulting our cooking efforts), am I right?
Dating as a single Mum can be tricky territory to navigate. It brings up lots of questions like, ‘When am I going to find time to date?’, ‘When should I introduce my new partner to my kids?’ and ‘How will I meet new people?’. Well you’re not alone.
Two brilliant Mums (with experience in the area) have shared their top tips for single Mothers looking to date while caring for young kids.
Heal from past relationships
‘I’d like to say to women getting back into dating;
NOT to rush into it. Get the support you need to close the door on the past relationship, heal and review. If you go straight back into another relationship you risk having to learn the same lessons.
2. Don’t introduce a new date to your children until you’re absolutely sure he’s a keeper.
3. Write down the type of person you want to attract be clear when your outlining the qualities of this person ‘be careful what you wish for’ remember you are worthy and wonderful.’
Kylie Martin Hollonds – GF Oats Australia
Have some Afternoon Delights
1. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. When starting, it’s easy to get caught up and excited and then to be let down. Go out on a few dates, match with a few people, chat to a few people…If you get unmatched or ghosted or someone is not what you are looking for, there’s more to explore. (Also helps with the after sex “I REALLY like him and want to spend the rest of my life with him” hormones that happen!)
2. Know what you want (for now) and be OK with that changing. A lot of friends of mine started with wanted relationship, moved to having dinner and sex and then back to wanting more. You don’t have to know everything when you start…
3. Trust your gut. If it quacks like a duck, it’s a duck. if he’s drunk in his photos, it’s a sign, sistah! If he’s negative in his bio – another sign. If he only talks about himself every time you meet him – things aren’t going to miraculously change…
4. Don’t bring your kids into it at the beginning. It’s about you. Do this for yourself first.
My kids have never met any of the men I have dated. I have “morning or afternoon delight” whilst they are at school.
If I go out for coffee or dinner, I get a babysitter. You do enough for your kids. Do something for yourself.’
Are you a single Mum with tips you’d like to share? Pop them in the comments below.
Lea Sharp is a content creator and hot mess Mum in Brisbane, QLD. As a tired Mum of 3, Lea is a passionate advocate for maternal mental health and helps like-minded Mums make life that little bit easier through The Cold Coffee Tribe, a lifestyle website for everyday Mums.